Boundaries Are Important

Last night I called my mom to let her know I was okay after my surgery yesterday. I had my tubes tied to prevent having any more babies since it is possible for me to have a preemie. When she asked me how I was doing and I told her I was hurting still. Her response was “wimpy, wimpy, wimpy.” This isn’t the first time she has done something like this and I am done dealing with it and not saying anything. I have made the decision to tell her that if she is going to be that way and tease me about my pains that she is not welcome to come to my home or speak to me. I will not have my pain, be it physical or emotional, minimized by her or any one else anymore. My recovery has taught me it is “Okay to not be okay.” To me that means physically, mentally and emotionally.

So here is what I am going to tell her: I need you to listen to what I have to say without interrupting me and if you choose to hang up then I will have my answer. I want you here for Christmas this year and I think it would be cool for you to live out here however I refuse to let you minimize my pain be it physical or emotional. It has happened all my life by you and others. I have learned it is okay for me to not be okay and that I don’t have to let others walk all over me. I don’t do it to you so please don’t do it to me any more. If you continue to do it I will be forced to cut off contact with you until you can apologize and work at not doing it. It’s not teasing if I don’t think its funny and I certainly don’t find it funny.

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One thought on “Boundaries Are Important

  1. I am proud of you. You have grown emotionally and physically so much in the last several years. I love you and I know that you are a strong woman and that you will hold your head up no matter what comes.

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