Just Don’t Understand

I’m just venting here so if you want to read please feel free if not then you can just go! 
My husband is on disability and I feel like he just wants to sleep all the time. Its like if Gavin is asleep he wants to take a nap. He is isolating himself from me and everyone else too! It really hurts my heart to see him just shut down like this and there is nothing I can do about it. He is on Medication but it only does so much, he has to do the rest of the work himself.
When we moved to our current place we decided to split the cleaning in half. He would do the kitchen, (IE: dishes, counter tops and floor), the small bathroom and the trash. I would get the master bathroom (has a garden tub and separate shower), our bedroom and general cleaning IE: vacuuming, dusting and picking up Gavin’s toys. I do my laundry, Gavins laundry and most of his. We share the cooking since the rest seems to be fair. 
I’ll admit I haven’t done all of my stuff lately but I don’t ask him to do it! It was about a week ago that our kitchen counter was super messy, probably because we thought we were moving and I couldn’t stand it any longer. I had asked him to clean it several times and he never did. So one morning before the baby was awake I cleaned all the stuff off the counter, did the dishes, washed the counter, and the stove. I am totally miffed about all the work I did and he still doesn’t seem to want to be grateful, of course he said the traditional “Thank You” but that was basically it!!! I can’t believe that he just doesn’t seem to care what I do in this house, and then he wonders why I have this attitude towards him. I want to be respectful of him but its really hard when he says he will do something and then he doesn’t do it! 
Okay, rant is over. 
I went to a psychiatrist and he put me on four medications, one for depression, one is a mood stabilizer, one is for anxiety and the last one is for sleep. I don’t think the sleeping meds works very well because I still wake up several times a night, but that could be because of two things, my pain in my back or knees or that Gavin is still waking up in the middle of the night for a bottle. I really need to talk to his pediatrician about that at his next appointment. He also isn’t lifting his cup up to drink even when I don’t help him. I guess maybe I am spoiling him a little too much. I hate to hear him cry or see him upset! He did take a step on his own the other day but he seems to scared to take anymore just yet. I really want him to walk soon so I don’t have to carry him so much. Its really hard to carry a 21 pound weight up and down stairs and the long walk to the car (we have a reserved parking spaces here!). 

One thought on “Just Don’t Understand

  1. Hey Vanessa! You know, what you are struggling with Matt about could be because of the medication he is on. My dad is manic depressive, bi-polar, and schizophrenic (though not extreme on the schizo part) and his meds really affect him similarly to how you are describing Matt. He sleeps alot, has little to no motivation which extends from work related stuff to basic hygiene and housework. It's not really an excuse, but it's something to either look into or keep in mind. I know I'd have a very hard time dealing with that and same as you, respecting someone like that.



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