What Should I Do?

The last few weeks have been crazy here. There is a girl that watches my son every couple weeks on the weekend. She is 13 and her mom supervises her because she has a lot to learn before doing it alone. I love this girl so much and I see so much of me in her. 
The problem is that I see a myriad of emotional abuse towards this girl going on when we are at her house. The adults living there constantly drag her down in front of people. She is so upset with how things are going in her home that she constantly wants to stay at my house or run away. For a while she wanted to get pregnant because, in my opinion, she wanted someone to love her unconditionally. She makes mistakes just like any other teen and while I agree that there needs to be discipline for these mistakes what I see is not discipline. It’s abuse!
I want to report the situation to the authorities but I’m afraid it will make the environment worse for her because they may not put her someplace else. I would adopt her if we had the ability to take care of another person. I want better for her but I also don’t want to loose her. She is such a sweet girl and she just needs to be loved. They say they do what they do because they love her but I really don’t see that as love. When I am around her house I can feel the negative energy.  
What oh what do I do???

Nursing Struggles

I have been thinking about all the nursing issues I have been having with Gavin and I’m still trying to figure out if its worth trying to nurse him again. He hasn’t nursed in almost 6 weeks. He turns his head and cries no matter what I try. He is being treated for an ear infection right now and then I am going to try again. If he still turns away from me I think I’m going to just have to accept that he isn’t going to nurse again.

WIC Said Wait

So I posted the other day about switching to half formula and half nursing but the lactation lady at WIC said she wanted me to try pumping and feeding him breast milk in a bottle since he seems to be pushing away the breast during the day. She lent me an electric breast pump to make this easier than the manual I have. She said it would make it faster and would pull more of the hind milk out of the right side. I seem to have a serious imbalance, the left gives more hind-milk and the right gives more fore-milk.

I have to work on drinking more but I already feel like I drink too much. I guess I’ll have to give it a decent try. I have a class to go to at WIC on the 19th so if I still want to put him on formula part-time then all I have to do is take the pump back and ask for the formula to be added to my benefits. I am going to give it a valiant effort starting today since all the holiday activities are over and I will be home more than not.

A Tough But Right Decision

To add or not to add formula … that was my question.

I have been thinking about this decision for a long time and I think I have finally come to the right conclusion. I am going to change Gavin to formula during the day and continue to nurse at night. He doesn’t seem to be getting enough during the day no matter how often I feed him or how much I drink. He also seems to be happier with formula during the day and nurses best at night.

This method will continue to give him the benefits of nursing but also fill him up better during the day. Of course I will nurse him on days that he doesn’t feel well. This also gives the added convenience of “Daddy & Gavin bonding time” and will make feedings easier when at recovery or out and about especially when he learns to hold his own bottle.

I have put in a call to the doctor to see what Similac formula he recommends, since WIC doesn’t supply Enfamil, as a supplement to nursing. I want this to be an easy transition for him.

When I had my older boys, Jorin and Xander, I had just had an abortion a year prior. I honestly felt when I went through SaveOne that I was trying to replace my daughter, Karen, with the boys. It was important for me to nurse and when they told me Jorin was not able to nurse and needed Soy Formula it caused me a lot of depression. With Xander I nursed exclusively for 9 months but it put me through more PPD than I really needed to suffer with because it always seemed like he was never full. I seem to be having this same issue with Gavin recently and while my PPD is being treated I seem to be depressed more and more because of his fussing. I am confident I am making the right decision for him and the whole family.

Gavin’s First Thanksgiving

Today we went to Life By Mandy Studios and had photos done to mark Gavin’s 6th week and First Thanksgiving. These are just the first few pictures we had done. We bought a digital package today and will eventually be adding them all to the gallery. It will cost us about $350 all together to get all the photos uploaded.


© Life By Mandy Photography

© Life By Mandy Photography

© Life By Mandy Photography

© Life By Mandy Photography

© Life By Mandy Photography

© Life By Mandy Photography






































After we finished the photo shoot we went to a friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. It was a very fun day for the family.



Baby Issues

So here’s the deal … I am seriously confused as to what is going on with Gavin. He eats just fine if not too much and is gaining weight just fine. He was 7lbs. 7oz. when he was born and is now around 11lbs. But here are the issues; he is having green discharge from his eyes, fussing while refusing to sleep at times, and having extreme blow out diapers for the last two weeks.

The doctor he currently has said a few things that don’t sit well with me. He said that the discharge coming from Gavin’s eyes was okay even though its green and at times can seal his eyes shut, that a baby can cry for 3 hours and that it’s “okay”, and that the blow out dirty diapers that are almost water is due to lactose intolerance.

I know from personal experience and what several other pediatricians have told me lactose intolerance is usually accompanied by throwing/spitting up after eating and my oldest boy, Jorin, proved that when he was only a few days old. He never had blow out diapers like this and they certainly were not liquid. Gavin hasn’t been throwing/spitting up unless there is a burp behind it and that is usually only a little bit. My oldest boy would literally project his just eaten milk across the room. Once he even hit the TV with it … Oh Boy … was I glad I had wood floors back then!!!

Regardless of my past experiences I am eliminating major milk products ie; milk, cheese, yogurt & butter, from my diet for a week, maybe two, just to see what happens. I don’t at all agree that Gavins eyes are fine and I certainly don’t think that  letting a baby cry for three hours is okay AT ALL!!!

I scheduled an appointment with a new doctor for Monday next week to have him re-evaluated and I’m going to be switching to this doctor since he is closer to my house. I hope I don’t have to change doctors again, it is such a pain in the behind!!!

Gavin’s First Halloween

Happy Halloween!!!

It’s Gavin’s first Halloween today and since he isn’t even a month old we are just staying in tonight handing out candy!!! I just thought I would post some pics of him wearing his special onesie.

I personally don’t care for the traditional Halloween customs. I don’t see the point of going around the neighborhood looking for candy from people I don’t know or trust. I much prefer the idea of going to the church to celebrate with people I know and love.

Have Fun & Be Safe Tonight!!!